Abbey Rhodes

I am a romantic gesture kind of girl. As a result, I believe, women commit to me far sooner and much more deeply than my commitment to them. I enjoy women and enjoy spending time with them, however oral sex helps to have deep emotional feelings for them. The women I’ve dated, seem more than willing to create a fiction around me despite the times I tell them “I’m not ready to be exclusive.”

This is, of course, only my experience, but it has been so common I am amazed. “I love you” or its pseudonyms, get offered with no reciprocation and they don’t seem to care.

Well, it should be pretty obvious right? I mean if you’re not in a “public” relationship then you can safely assume you’re a “dirty little secret”, right? Well, it’s a bit more complicated than that. Some people don’t like to share their personal relationships with others until it becomes serious, I’m one of those people. Until there’s something to share, I don’t share. It’s no one’s concern but my own and a select few. But that’s more about discretion than keeping a “dirty little secret”. It also isn’t something mutually secret like an “arrangement” or “friends with benefits”. What’s the difference?

Well, a “dirty little secret” is when you basically are there for their pleasure but after an extended period of time you still aren’t in their life in a real way and you want to be. It’s not a “dirty little secret” if you’re both on the same page.

So how do you know? Well, ask yourself:

• does she/he only come see you for sex and emotional support … when they needs you?
• A big talker? do actions match words?
• do you ever go out to public places together where people you know might be or are you always at home or not so public places?
• how does he/she treat you in public situations? does he/she avoid you or does treat you like everyone else?
• are you an important part of their life? Are they maried?
• do you only see each other late at night?
• always “too busy” to provide you with any real type of attention?
• do friends and/or family know about you?
• does he/she introduce you as a “friend”?
• do they “sneak away” to come see you?

These are a few questions to ask yourself. If they doesn’t treat you like someone special in their life PUBLICLY then you might just be a “dirty little secret”, sorry to say. But you already knew that didn’t you. I certainly did, but I enabled their bad behavior because there was love/lust there and love conquers all doesn’t it? Ya sure, only in the movies.

How many of you ladies have received unsolicited penis pictures? C’mon show of hands … yup, that’s what I thought, most of you have. I will even hazard a guess that you men have sent them too. Why?

Recently I met a guy who felt it necessary to tell me he had an unusually large, um, yup he said that. I said “OK good for you”. He kept insisting that it was really really big. I said “good for you”. He asked if I wanted to see it and I said no.

Why do guys feel the need to do that? I mean really? At least I sort of knew it was coming. No one, I mean no one, needs an unsolicited penis pic.
Sending naked pictures is a bad idea because you can’t control them once you hit send. You have absolutely NO IDEA what anyone will do with them. He might show them to his friends. They might get “accidentally” released somehow.

They might mysteriously appear one day when you least expect it and you’re competing for that promotion at work. You never know, even if you take every precaution. In the heat of the moment it might seem like a good idea to send that naked picture but it really really isn’t. Even if it’s to your trusted partner, they don’t always have control either.

A while back when a friend of mine felt the need to show me her phone collection of women’s vaginas. Some were her conquests, some not, but all in all she had A LOT of pictures. Some of these women I knew! But why did they do this? All in good fun right?

She asked me to pose for some pictures. Naked pictures are not necessary, she said as lingerie can be equally arousing I turned her down. However these other women she asked had agreed to pictures of their vagina.

She had no idea how WRONG she is. Why wrong? Because she was showing these photos to me, and no doubt, she’s shown them to others too. How many of you ladies have masturbated to unsolicited pictures? What do you think men do?

Recently, I’ve been thinking about if our actions in a relationship, once we get comfortable, contribute to its downfall. I know that getting to a level where you let down your inhibitions in a relationship is important, but, do some people take it too far. Do they let loose a little TOO much? I think that they do, yes. Whatever happened to keeping the spark alive and maintaining a little mystery? I think letting it all hang out and letting yourself go is only hurting you in the end. This doesn’t only include your daily routines, but, also what you wear and how you look. Lingerie IS important in a relationship and here’s why.

Lingerie typically is meant to be appealing, sexy, even erotic. It helps set the mood for very special evening, but, what if this is a typical day, do you still wear lingerie? I say yes! I think you should never leave the house unless you have something sexy underneath your clothes. That should be a rule. Why save them for a special occasion?

Wearing something sexy underneath your clothes makes you feel sexy and confident. Your partner will definitely appreciate it and you can use it to entice them and be flirty. When you sleep, wear nice, sexy things. Don’t wear baggy pyjamas or a t-shirt. Wear camisoles, silk or satin negligees or nighties, things with lace or a sexy pattern … all these things speak volumes. It tells yourself that you are attractive and sexy.

By wearing a matching bra and panty set each day and incorporating lace and other sexy materials and styles into your daily routine is a must. Believe me, it will do wonders for your confidence and your relationship. It tells them that you are attractive and you find them attractive and that they are important to you.